Another beautiful day dawned for the hash, a day full of bright sunshine and a great day to go for a run in the Bois. With a meeting point at the north entry to the Bois de Bolougne, this is exactly where the pack thought they would spend the afternoon…. oh how misguided and easily fooled this lot are indeed.
Our Hare le Cock Sportif immediately caught the interest of the group by announcing a Bingo Hash… the challenge, which everyone of course chose to accept, was to spot the following for 10 points each:
Les Putains (bien sur)
Les preservatifs (Condoms – used or not!)
A Cat (who knows why…but hey, why not?!)
With negative 10 points for spotting fools on horses (though Speedy gained his back by frightening both fool and horse with his horn blowing along the route)
On collecting all of the above, with supporting evidence either in the form of a photo or an unreliable witness, the winning hasher had to shout “HOUSE”. For those not familiar with the Bois this was obviously all a bit random, for those who know of the Bois it wasn’t a surprising list and for those overly familiar with the Bois, well obviously they knew exactly where to look for all the above and so had the winning advantage (should it be stated here that The Anarchist was the first to shout “HOUSE”?!?).
The next obvious step was to send the pack on its way… immediately into the surrounding streets away from the park… shock and outrage is all that this hasher felt on such a lovely day, surely the greenery of the park was the only way forward?! However our trail did indeed wind us.. eventually.. back into the park giving us a chance to start collecting our bingo game points, and to have fun across the varied terrain of sandy horse trails, shiggy moments through the woods and of course.. many many many checkpoints.
Three hashers have to be named as saviours of this hash. Mrs Rogeringson for somehow charming someone into opening the bottle of wine at the wine stop. At this almost distressingly dry point in the run, some American sounding hashers were heard to mutter comments about screw top wine being easier, but they were quickly hushed so as not to be arrested by the wine proud French police who consider talk of screw tops high on the “offensive to the French nation” list. The other 2 heros were Just Stupid and Just Margeaux who disappeared off with the hash cash at the end of the run to get some bouffe for the group.
On route obviously there was much fun condom spotting, antagonising of policemen and prostitute hunting, well fun for the hashers but possibly not for the poor ladies of the bois who were accosted with a bunch of runners yelling “HOUSE” as they passed by and taking photos.
After a lovely run through the woods the down-downs were plentiful with possibly the longest ever down-down list to follow….
Our Hare le Cock Sportif with his co-hare Mrs Rogeringson for a run that was not rainy, not long enough, not hilly enough, with not enough checks and definitely a lack of prostitutes… who both had to take a 2nd drink for hats in the circle…
Visitors Trips and Ball, Wet Willy Mississippi Housewife and Just Sam followed swiftly by Virgins Just Christine and Just Michelle
Retournees The Anarchist, Saving Ryan’s Privates, Nice Bit of Skirt and Just Margeaux
Misleading the pack – Speedy and Wet Willy who both thought that an obvious start to the trail would be to run into the park; WTFAMT later on when she decided a permanent painted cross looked just like one made from trail flour… and White Socks for getting the walkers lots
Map reading by Nice Bit of Skirt, Just Stupid and Egg Spurt
Hash gear (or lack thereof) by Saving Ryan’s Privates, Visitors and Virgins, Whats His Name, WTFAMT and Just Margeaux (once again probably sporting marathon gear!)
There was a random call for French Tax Payers so Egg Spurt, WTFAMT, Just Michelle and Just Christine and Speedy too a drink to tax paying which is all just a bit wrong…
Tax Avoiders and Evaders were also called in on two separate occasions though this hasher has no idea of the difference so these shall be listed as one – Kermit the Rfot, Nice Bit of Skirt and The Anarchist
FRB’s – Saving Ryan’s Privates, Nice Bit of Skirt (who was apparently using The Force to divine the right route at checks), Just Christine and The Anarchist and Trips and Balls
Lost on Trail – Whats His Name with absolutely no excuse as to why, but he disappeared within the first 20 mins only to be found again at the On In (something to do with the putains part of the trail??)
For forgetting the corkscrew and then for finding someone with a corkscrew – Hare and Co-Hare, le Cock Sportif and Mrs Rogeringson
And finally…. although on this run we had a visiting RA in the form of Kermit the Frog who did a stirling job…. On the song master front we were sadly lacking and it has definitely been confirmed that Nice Bit of Skirt is not the man for this job as although his voice is reasonably tuneful, his repertoire of hash songs is not large and he offered up one song for every down down.. Nice Bit of Skirt get studying that hymn book please!