The hash commenced with one of the most confusing explanations of hash signage, trail markings and general rules that anyone has ever heard. Our hares, Bender and Shaggy, must have been smoking crack as not only we were told about checkpoints, checkbacks, false trails, poofs, lines, arrows, hash views, hash photos but the lead up to a beerstop included BN (beer near), BVN (beer very near), BVFN (you can work that one out yourselves) and then one you can see in the photos below but which this scribe has completely forgotten already (crack I tell you, they must have been smoking crack!)…. So if our 8 long term resident Paris hashers were lost before even starting, you can imagine that the 7 new hashers that joined us this week, a mix of visitors and virgins, had no idea whatsoever!
Our brave hashers did not let this somewhat insane start put them off, possibly the promise of 2 beerstops helped this decision, and so off the hash went to run riot through Rueil-Malmaison.
The hares were definitely in a cheeky mood when they set this trail as this hasher lost count of the number of checkbacks, but it has to be said there were some very cunning use of markings to guide the runners back onto the true trail. Plus the hares stuck to their promise and exhibited some of the most inventive marking methods seen to date – lampposts, walls, bridge steel work, trees… nothing was safe, apparently there is still a dog somewhere in Rueil-Malmaison wondering around covered in flour with an arrow on his belly.
After a little run around the town and an encounter with a giraffe (first Hash View) things got serious and the trail led us into the beautiful park where the runners and the walkers crossed paths. This type of meeting can only mean one thing… BMBN (beer must be near!). The runners were led on a merry dance around the park, up and down hills, around streams, through copses of trees… a nice slice of nature for this group of Parisians… to another Hash View and finally we saw the sign… BN… followed a few twists and turns later by… BRN. WTF is BRN ?? This was definitely not in the list at the start, and therefore further proof of our hares’ drug problems, however even with this false advertising the runners made the only assumption possible and carried on as the beer must have been really near… Which luckily it was!
After the first beer stop, off the hash went to find the next park and the next beer via an SS and a BSS. Yes my dear hashers, more codes that our doped up hares decided to include into their repertoire. The Song Stop proved to be much fun as a group of local teenage reprobates decided to join in with a round of Father Abraham, including all of the actions. Watch out for that video going viral on YouTube. On leaving our new friends we then discovered that the trail took us through an exercise area where we climbed up and down rungs, swung from monkey bars and arrived at the Bum S*x Stop… what else can you expect from a trail set by hares named Shaggy and Bender?!?
We finally made it to beerstop no.2 at the same time as the walkers and the hash regrouped before the final push to the finish. The hares were very generous as not only were there two beer stops but there were at least 2 beers per hasher at each stop. However in their haste to get some drinks in at the pub between laying the trail in the morning and the hash in the afternoon, the bouffe provided on trail left a lot to be desired with the only offerings being half a dead bird and a very very squashed little frog. Luckily though the bouffe at the end more than made up for this sorry excuse for snackage on trail.
At the circle there were many downdowns including
Virgins – Just Stevie and her sponsor Pebble Dasher
Visitors – Just Margeaux, Just Jorge, Le Cock Sportif and Mrs Rogeringson
Retournees – Shaggy, Seven, Bender and Eggspurt
Then the accusations came in thick and fast……
Technology on trail – The Anarchist and Shaggy (and of course Bender as when one hare drinks…)
Use of real names in the circle – Sleeping Sex, followed directly by hats in the circle – Sleeping Sex, followed by lack of beer respect – Sleeping Sex and Le Cock Sportif.
FRB’s – Le Cock Sportif, Just Stevie, Pebble Dasher, The Anarchist, What’s his Name, Just Jorge, WTFAMT
Sex on Trail – The Anarchist for bum watching, Shaggy for a reason this scribe cannot remember and WTFAMT for demonstrating the required position for the BSS.
Finally WTFAMT for prior trail knowledge and continual comments on trail that she’d done it all before and yet still managed to fall for all the checkbacks……
Thank you hares for a great trail.. OnOn.