The hash dawned on a freezing cold and icy day, but that didn’t prevent our hardy hashers from venturing out to see what delights were awaiting in the wilds of the Bois de Boulogne and in fact the threat of snow didn’t even put 3 virgins coming out for their first run… then again maybe that was just the lure of the Bois and the interesting folk that can be found within??!
Our hare Running Commentary gave some of the most interesting hash marking explanations yet, which went something along the lines of, “if you see a false trail, well it’s not actually a false trail so carry on and ignore the fact that its false”. The obvious question was how is it a false trail if it continues as a real trail but that mystery was never answered…. Following this rather confusing hash talk (and goodness knows what the virgins thought of this snippet of information) our hare requested a 5 minute head start to enable some live haring as the onset of the winter weather had washed away the first part of his trail. Off he ran into the Bois leaving the walkers with a map and the runners with absolutely no clues as to where they might start looking for the trail as they were too busy talking to even note in which direction the hare disappeared. They can be forgiven as they were most probably trying to actually try explain hash markings to the virgins however the walkers were able to indicate where the runners should start looking and off they went eager to see the sights of the Bois. The walkers followed at a much more leisurely pace and on entering the woods spotted the first check point. Assuming the runners had seen this and found the trail the walkers ambled onwards gossiping away merrily… yes it was a girly group of walkers……. only to look up and see a bunch of lost looking boys running towards them from the other end of the path. It appears our runners were not as observant as the walkers, had missed the very first marker but guessed that straight into the woods was the only obvious direction…. how wrong hashers can be, the virgins we can forgive but the old timers… well what were they thinking??!!?
As the walkers continued on, still chatting, taking in the views and trying not to freeze to death, they stumbled across a very lost runner who had become separated from the pack. So Speedy joined the girls for a short while with the plan to rejoin the boys at the first of the beer stops. However the girly chat all became too much and as soon as he saw some random people shambling through the trees his hash senses told him they were his randoms and off he went back to the pack. The girls, not wanting to mess around headed straight to the beer stop and there they found the hare. The first of the boys turned up not too much later and virgin Just Jason proved himself to have superior beer senses as he headed straight to the right tree and pulled out the first case. A short stop for some beer and chocolate and off they went again just in time to avoid the onset of hypothermia to find their way to the next beer stop… yes ladies and gents, the hare laid on a 2nd beer and chocolate stop. So the group met again at the grand cascade for a 2nd beer (or 3rd in some cases) and a 3rd mini mars (or 4th in some cases.. you know who you are!) before heading on again to find their way back to the On In.
The runners had struggled to stick together between beer stops but by the end it appeared that half the group had gone missing completely. It was getting dark, it was the Bois and questions were asked whether particular hashers (not naming any names Nice Bit of Skirt) had decided to try an alternative career move! However this was not the case and the last 3 runners finally appeared…… pushing a velib?!!?? Before they could be accused of cheating, they spun a merry tale involving damsels in distress, Arabic translations, lost ambulance drivers….. the story went on. Amongst all this the other runners were also chastised for not helping fallen women (ahem, again we were in the Bois) and selfishly heading straight to the final beer stop of the day.
The circle and down-downs were cut short due to fear of frostbite, of course our virgins had to drink, however this hash trasher was kindly returning the velib and so missed where these 3 had come from and who made them come, however from the looks of them it can only have been themselves! Following a few more down-downs for crimes committed on trail, including the hiring of the velib, songs were sung (led beautifully by Sparkle who should have been on a flight to S.Africa but decided to hash instead.. we were honoured and even more so that he’s now coming to the CHRISTMAS DO on the 15th DECEMBER (just in case you needed reminding)) and then everyone crowded round to share out the warming (read life saving) soup that our kind hare had provided. Much more beer and wine was drunk and random conversations had, enough so that we think we convinced the 3 virgins that we’re actually an all right group and they should become regulars, and join us for CHRISTMAS DINNER (go Just Colin!). The remains were then packed up using only iPhone lights as a guide and the group hurriedly left the Bois before they decided to make life changing decisions and stay in the Bois forever.
Well done everyone who made it out in the cold and see you all and everyone else at the CHRISTMAS PARTY ON SAT 15 DECEMBER!!!