The Hash Red Dress Run charity bash was a resounding success, garnering the attention of passers-by in central Paris as Hashers from the Paris and Sans Clue Hash House Harriers joined forces and traversed the city streets. The annual charity fund raiser is an occasion for confused British men to indulge in all their latent cross dressing fantasies. This year’s fashion parade highlighted Nice Bit of Skirt’s very own creations, although
Shaggy, French Kiss, Alka, and Anaconda were not far behind on the runway. Anaconda was definitely guilty of hiding that Can-Can under a bushel, as was Crappy Strappy, whose evil stepmother must have forced our Cinderella to throw on a coat over her sparkly hand-sewn creation before allowing her outdoors to parade her charms in the street.
Visitor Up-and-Adam declined to meet the fashion challenge, arriving in street clothes. To his credit, he had no idea he was attending the Red Dress Run when he left the hotel that morning, and to his ?credit?, he abandoned wife and children and joined the Hash after encountering the Hares Bender and
Shaggy laying trail. There were additional Fashion Faux-Pas that afternoon: Running Commentary and Sleeping Sex wore last year’s dress to the event, while French Kiss and Visitor Just Susan wore the *same* dress (not simultaneously, not even sequentially.) Pussy … kat showed up in her working girl dress, which, although criticized for being Bordeaux in color, the gentle reader is reminded that Bordeaux wines are generally considered *red* wines, despite the occasional Sauvignon Blanc and Sauternes.
Just Susan showed a unique degree of flexibility that attracted a certain amount of interest. Her inner-Gumby prompted her to share some of her favorite shaving positions with her fellow Hashers. Her athleticism appeared to be genuine, as opposed to Sparkle, whose fire-engine red outfit misrepresented his ability to a certain degree. Speedy likewise appeared to be dressed in a rather misleading fashion, if you can call it fashion, with a pair of high-speed, low-drag leggings that propelled him to the front of the crowd. This Front-Running geriatric helped lead the pack throughout the afternoon, ably assisted by Front Running A$$h0le French Kiss.
The pack lost only two Hashers on this round, never to be seen again. They were young, cute, and female, so they undoubtedly arrived safely back at their destination. They were not with the walkers, who, led by Sleeping Sex, miraculously arrived at all appointed beer and wine stops with no apparent difficulty and no permanent loss of personnel.
It did appear that the Hash had acquired an additional Harriette, in the form of a German grand-maman, who temporarily beefed up the pack. This seemed to be a case of mistaken identity, although Nice Bit of Skirt apparently has a Prussian doppelganger who has a fair five-o-clock shadow for a 65 year-old hausfrau.
The Hashit was ceremoniously transfered to its next carrier. Just Stupid was recognized for his ability to follow a false trail all the way down the five-foot wide, fifty-foot long alley to which the misleading blobs of flour led, complete the u-turn, and circle his way once again back to the mouth of the passageway to rejoin the main pack. Again, the gentle reader may be forgiven for thinking Just Stupid was a mother-given name.
Unfortunately your humble scribe was too busy taking down-downs to take good notes, resulting in the loss of certain data which is no longer available to posterity. Kudos to Alka for the charity fund-raising, the soup, and the cupcakes.