Our hare Pussy Kat started the run off with a certain class. The gathering at the Liberty Flame were encouraged to drink as many red, white and blue jello vodka shots as possible with the words “well they aren’t coming with us on the run!”. The group manfully made their way through as many as possible, can anyone else out there beat a total of 5?? However it was only discovered on eating that the white ones were not vodka but a little nod to our adopted country during our very American run and were actually made with Pastis… a very new (and unfortunate) experience for everybody!
The next interesting announcement was the “gluten free-ness’ of the run… instead we were given treasure hunt clues to find the many American monuments in Paris, and who knew there were so many tributes to the Americans in Paris?! Certainly not this group as even with various written clues backed up with photo evidence, comments of, “well yes it’s a statue, I’m sure I’ve seen it, but it’s location… nope sorry, not got a clue…” were often heard and poor Running Commentary…. not even the GPS co-ordinates and a glance at the map prevented him getting totally lost… twice! However the rest of the running group managed to keep together due to the efforts of the co-hare, Ooh La La (or should that be Al Al Hoo – more on this later). The two hares were very well co-ordinated to make sure the runners and walkers met up at the most important points, namely the beer stop. However, somehow even with our lead hare Pussy Kat, haring the walkers, her group of 4 was reduced to 2 on reaching the end, but no one in the group was surprised as soon as they realised that one of these losses was Half Crazy (Flah Yzarc??) who actually has this ability listed as one of her skills on her CV, and just led poor Sharp Shooter astray. Sadly the RA did not co-ordinate the weather and in just one run we went from sunny heat to monsoon rains, but this didn’t stop our intrepid treasure hunting hashers, well apart from the 5mins sheltering in a metro station at the beer stop, which didn’t last long when the lack of beer became too much and so the rains were braved once again to hunt down our beermeister Speedy. Here again, the US theme was continued with a Bourbon chaser alongside the beers.
The route took in various presidential statues and gardens and ended at the Statue of Liberty which luckily provided a bridge for shelter from the continuing rains, for which tradition was once again broken as the group moved from outside at the base of the statue to under the bridge mid circle due to the start of the next downpour. So many down-downs took place it warrants a bullet pointed list…
- The returnees (it seems that even some of our most dedicated hashers have been absent for a long while)
- Those unable to remain found on route but who manage to turn up in the end – Half Crazy, Sharp Shooter and of course Running Commentary
- Running Commentary had a special DFL down-down (dead f*cking lost) because had he not been found by our two walkers, who were apparently never lost, but just a bit slow, he would never had made the circle
- Half Crazy for a pee stop mid circle
- FRB’s the Anarchist and WTFAMT
- St Peter’s Dick, Princess Pussy and Sleeping Sex for no patriotic gear
- Sharp Shooter for acquiring patriotic gear on route
- the Hares for defending the US-ness of the run
- Bender for his Captain Oz outfit and for advertising the hash as all are sure it was his outfit that caused all “you must be the hash’ comments from the various tourists we passed on route
- our GM the Anarchist for not bringing Running Commentary’s phone number along with us which was surely a mistake given Running Commentary’s history of getting left behind. And for this down-down our GM christened the new Paris Hash drinking vessel, which has hopefully never been used for its true use before today….need your toilet unblocked anyone?!
- Just Seven for hitching a lift with Speedy, though she did prove to be a great team motivator as Speedy kerb-crawled the running group, Just Seven gave it her all on the horn
- All the American’s in the group for being American on an American run
- St Peter’s Dick for his footwear… again, you would have thought he would have learnt his lesson on his last run in Paris
- The hares for creating it and the others for actually drinking the rather undelightful Pastis jello shot
- And finally, Half Crazy and Ooh La La who were both wearing their hash necklaces back to front. Originally the hashers had thought this was a co-ordinated effort with some special meaning, however when questioned separately, both had the same excuse of being late and just throwing them on…. is there more to this story than meets the eye…?!?!?
Our hare continued the American theme all the way through to the bouffe with a typical American menu of plastic cheese, jerky, spam, wieners, peanut butter, crackers, pork rinds, hershey kisses, American beer, more bourbon.. not a slice of camembert or a baguette in sight. However, not even the dog that passed the group aiming for the food table could be convinced to eat a wiener, and even more surprisingly some French hashers were spotted (surreptitiously) enjoying the fake cheese and spam..! Though even our hare noted that the American beer had to be drunk quickly while it was still cold as otherwise it was undrinkable. Overall a hugely enjoyable run, despite the rain and a congratulations to our hares for making it a truly American experience.
To close this hash trash an Announcement – the next Paris hash on the 21st July is Princess Pussy’s last hash which she is apparently haring and promising a On-After at a bar somewhere, where to be confirmed later. This is another sad loss for the group, but the blond has been called back by her people and her next stop is Stockholm hash, so please come along to wish her the best in her next adventure.