The day dawned fair – fairly cool, fairly sunny, fairly clear someone had screwed up planning a fairly nice day, making the platitude ‘le mois de mai, fais ce qu’il te plait’ seem just a little less ridiculous. Hare Slack Mac hosted a spring barbecue at his pied-a-terre in the charming ville fleurie of Arcueil. His fairly pleasant little garden hosted a handful of Hasher carnivores and one fairly confused, clearly misdirected, vegetarian.
Slack was recognized for his fine job in planning: organizing good weather (though the group’s standards are fairly low at this point,) a delightful run, a delicious barbecue, and well-designated plumbing. The thoughtful Hare even went so far as to provide two young, nubile Virgins, Just Carmell and Just Vanessa, though additional recognition will be extended to Burning Sensation, as both Virgins gave BS props for having them come along. Just Vanessa, the vegetarian Sausage Mistress, shows great promise as a future Harriette for her skills in both massage and sausage manipulation.
Returnees Just Alex, Just Stupid, Shaggy and Snow Goose also swelled the hash pack. Just Stupid claimed to having been enjoying the fairer climes of Nepal in the intervening weeks. Just Alex was a little more candid in admitting to being Just Lazy during his recent absences. Shaggy and Snow Goose had no plausible excuses to offer, though there was some suspicion that, judging by his burping on trail, Snow Goose had swelled a little under the gavage feeding, preparatory to a fine Winnipegian foie gras.
This hash was also graced by not one but *two* Ooh-La-La’s (who knew Ooh La La was a girl’s name?) As in French, the feminine is always distinguished by the E, would that be Ewe La La or E-yew La La?
The highpoint of the run was the beer stop, achieving 50 or 60 ft in elevation. It is debatable whether the low point was the Hash View or the excellent sliding board, which lost 50 or 60 feet in elevation. It was certainly the low point for the street urchins already tearing it up on the slide who thought 20 “middle” aged adults really ought to be somewhere else. Speedy gave the crowd an abject lesson in how to properly go down, zipping along on the slide.
The pack took the opportunity to gently counsel Slack on some of the areas where the run could have shown some improvement. In general, the run was deemed too flat with an insufficent number of checks about it. The fortunate runners had Slack to guide and lead them on the trail, equipped with compass, pace counter, fork, knife, and, of course Speedy, Hash Horn in Hand, and unusually enough, out in front.
The walkers were not so lucky. Equipped with only a map, the walkers were obliged to ask no fewer than five civilians for directions over the course of their three mile traverse. Nevertheless, the walkers set new land speed records that afternoon, recording a 21:39 minute mile, a PR for some in the group. They arrived back at the ranch just as the runners were calling SAMU, organizing search parties, advising next of kin, lighting the charcoal, finishing the beer, polishing off the potato chips, and beginning the circle.
*Hares needed for 9 June and 23 June. Please contact the Hare Razor, the GM, or one of the other Mis-management committee*