Well having had the promise of sunshine based on the previous week’s weather, the RA somehow managed to mess up again and deliver us a rather grey and cold day, however this didn’t get the Paris Hash down and all were in good spirits (some of them probably due to the amount of spirits consumed the night before!)
Our hare, Just Stupid, seemed to have picked a stop at random along RER E. He claimed he’d sniffed it out the week before knowing it had some nice woods and lakes nearby, however not many were convinced and in fact rumour had it that he’d got drunk one evening, fell asleep on the way home and ended up at aforementioned random stop totally by mistake!
However this didn’t put the hash off and within minutes of leaving the rather dubious looking, slightly deserted RER stop, the Hash set off along a trail through the rather dubious looking and slightly deserted town. With Sprinkler in the pack it wasn’t long before every dog in the neighbourhood was barking encouragement as we passed, and once we’d whipped enough of the local dog population into a frenzy, the hare’s trail led us past a rather stunning chateau and into the woods. The twisty-turney path ignored most of the actual paths set by the French park authority and this added a great sense of danger for our intrepid hashers due to the many potential ankle spraining and eye gouging moments which luckily no one decided to take advantage of, however many did take advantage of the bushes and trees along the off-piste trails for a “pause technique”, for which down-downs were enforced during the circle.
Hash views had been promised at the start, views plus wildlife in fact. Swans had been spotted that morning during the trail setting and our ever vigilant hare started us off with a safety message warning that although swans may look nice, we should take care not to anger them as they can be violent.. further adding to the sense of danger and excitement that accompanied this run. Plus our hare seemed to be determined to not only protect us but ensure that the swans were still in place when the hash arrived at the view point, although fencing them in with heavy duty barriers did seem to be a bit extreme…!
The beer stop was reached by all the runners, though due to what seems to have become a rather bad habit of late, our walkers weren’t able to join us as they’d decided to forge a totally new trail for themselves ignoring both those set by the French park authorities and by our hare! At the first check after the beer stop quite a few in the running pack seemed to get disorientated and so although those who could still focus enough to follow the trail actually found the walkers and the trail, others disappeared into the woods only to be seen again at the end of the run back in the still dubious looking and deserted station car park! (apart from that one man who seemed to spend inordinate amounts of time cleaning his car.. perhaps he was waiting for an invite to join us for a beer?)
Many many many down-downs were handed out including…
The hare for finding such a random place – drinking for both himself and the absent co-hare
Virgin Just Tash and PPO for making her come
Returnees Likes a Quickie, Shaggy, Slack and Princess Pussy who all cited rather pathetic excuses such as being struck by lightening and holidays in Helsinki to cover for their absenteeism.
Shaggy for mismanagement of Sprinkler and for having a dog that’s into cottaging (perhaps a new t-shirt idea for the hash!?)
Cock in a Box, PPO, Where the F*ck are my T*ts (WTFAMT), Princess Pussy, Just Doug and Just Tash for being FRB’s
The previously mentioned “pause techniques” or as we like to say in English, peeing on trail – the Anarchist (twice! is this an age thing?), Princess Pussy, WTFAMT, Shaggy, Sprinkler (obviously and he didn’t just stop at peeing…!), our hare, Cock in a Box and Likes a Quickie who learnt that trying to keep quiet didn’t prevent others from pointing out she needed to drink for this indiscretion as well
The hare again for not explaining the meaning of all the signs to be found on the trail at the start
The walkers (1/2 Crazy, Sleeping Sex, Muito Bonbon) for getting lost… unsurprisingly and again…. and Speedy for telling them not to bother joining us at the beer stop even though (they claim but what do they know, they can’t read maps!) they were only 2 minutes away
WTFAMT for being a too dedicated to the new on-sec position and carrying out indiscretions including “borrowing” supplies from the work stationary cupboard and taking mental notes at check points (at least that was the excuse given to avoid running at checks!)
Gonzo for his impression of a hobo in the forest with his plastic bag of beer over his shoulder
Just Doug, 3x a lady and Cock in a Box for keeping a low profile
The RA for somehow cancelling what had been a promising start to summer and bringing the cold, grey wintery stuff back again
The down-downs were given a special flavour this week as Speedy provided a rather interesting looking drinking vessel and all I can say is that everyone who drank out of it including the RA, WTFAMT, Likes a Quickie and Speedy himself all proved to be swallowers rather than spitters.. and if you can’t work out what is meant by that comment then you aren’t a true hasher!