Hares Deep Throat, Likes a Long One, and Aqua Sex hosted a brilliant St. Paddy’s Day Hash, run number 803, on, surprisingly enough, 17 March. Revelers commented that, in fact, the same Hares set the SAME hash this year as last and the year before that and the year before that and … Our hares had apparently confused St. Paddy’s Day with Ground Hog Day. It should be noted however that as 17 March usually coincides with St. Paddy’s Day, it was entirely fitting that the Same Hash be set for the Same Day, thereby imposing a degree of order on a world decaying into entropy. For the run description, see https://parishash.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/paris-hash-trash-776/ since its pretty much The Same.
Belying his name, Grand Master The Anarchist, demonstrated the same tendency towards regulation, turning into the worst kind of oxymoronic control freak. He was disciplined with a down-down, and his ex-es 1/2 Crazy and Likes a Long One were invited to join him in the circle in order to introduce some karmic balance.
The Hash had originally been scheduled for a beautiful, sunny spring day. Alas, guest Religious Advisor and Returnee TTH inflicted his rainy, Brazilian winter weather on the normally temperate Parisian climes, and the pack was made to suffer for it. No doubt the presence of Belgian native and Visitor Brussels Sprouts contributed to the overcast skies, though the magic of his home hash in Sofia could have been expected to counter the showers that fell. And a few drops of rain did not deter our inveterate FRAs CIB and Just Doug.
The Hash would surely have commenced immediately at 14h00, as it always does, had it not been for this week’s missing On Sec. Pussy…kat’s complete disregard for Western norms pertaining to timeliness delayed the pack’s departure for the woods of St. Germain, though it was hard to find the forest for the trees. The good name of the Paris Hash House Harriers has likely been completely besmirched in the eyes of Virgins Just Sam, hailing from West Sussex, and Just Pauline, the Chartreuse. Visitors and Returnees Whatshisname, Red Hot, Hot Pussy, Sharp Shooter and Aqua Sex are believed to hold PH3 in similar disdain and will find it hard to maintain attendance at such a poorly run affair.
Other irregularities singled out for examination included our RA’s sleeping arrangements while in town. The exact details of the three-way held with MaBouche and CIB on MaBouche’s couch bear further examination. Hot Pussy was found to be abusing the excellent Paddy whiskey, one of Cork’s finest exports, even if it did have a screw-top. The bike Hash for the junior set proved popular though French Kiss could barely keep up with kids on wheels. PH3 Hashers and Harriettes should be concerned by visiting Fontainebleau spy Just Genette, as who knows what unfounded rumors she carries back with her, using her journalist skills to portray the PH3 in the wrong light.