Hash Trash, Paris Hash House Harriers run number 796
Laid by Hare Bender and virgin (or bunny hare) Princess Pussy took us on an interesting trail winding and looping through the different faces of La Defence, from the unassuming industrial backend to the super modern landscape of highrises and reflective glass, standing out against the never-ending plains of concrete and stone Paris.
And so we explored this city of the future, with each building trying to outdo the next in terms of avant garde, enhanced by sculptures such as the Giant Thumb or the man with half his head chopped as well as scores of unrecognisable, novel forms.
The trail took off to a “twisted” start, with us having to double back on several false trails. Later in the “down down” there was general consent that the combination of flour “droppings” by Bender and arrows by the Bunny Hare Pussy on the trees (even though executed with designer flair) were confusing. Since the arrows were on the trees and the droppings on the ground we did not know to focus high or low and perhaps got lost somewhere in the middle. But egged on with a wink and a nudge from the green man we eventually broke through.
There were some other interesting twists on the trail including the viewpoint of the mirror, where we caught The Anarchist and Just Stupid worshipping their own images. And where Tree Shagger momentarily forgot herself and was caught hugging a tree. We thought that we got photographic evidence of this but she must have somehow gotten hold of the camera – for the image is no more! But the image is ever imprinted in the memories of those who saw it.
The Anarchist and Just Stupid further exhaled in their glory, taking advantage of the gap left by other Front Running Bitches such as Ooh La La and Princess Pussy, who were off licking their wounds with the walkers, handicapped and injured but who later admitted to the accusation of being plain “pathetic.”
Heading back into La Defence we had some extraordinary urban views and photos as we did the ups and downs of the hilly stairs in the urbanscape with Shaggy powered on by ever-enthusiastic Sprinkler (who was sprinkling away at the foot of as many buildings as possible).
Now, why such a finely equipped team of walkers arrived 30-40 mins later than the runners at the on in was a mystery to all. And as she was later accused in the “down-down” the bunny hare Princess Pussy had gotten lost on her very own trail, and despite, what they themselves had let slip, in a confusion of accusations, the use of technology – cell phones between Princess Pussy and Ooh La La. Possibly when the challenge of the run was dropped, or confused by the change of their pace they descended into plain daydreaming – finally to be drowned in a revelry of mulled wine, they eventually drifted unsuspectingly in. And we could finally gather on Bender’s balcony for the circle.
And so, to the sound of Sprinkler’s abandoned yapping 5 floors below the circle unfolded in the cold winter evening. And as the dark and cold descended in the citadel of La Defence the inner warmth and jolliness and merriment rose (largely thanks to the warmth of Bender’s generosity) and the line of beer bottles on the windowsill got longer. And those in the surrounding citadel must well have wondered as to the strange rituals that were unfolding. Truly it was a circle – or eclipse – with a life of its own that no-one wanted to close.
Princess Pussy AKA PP was initiated in her role as bunny (virgin) hare. The Shaggs; Shaggy Shagger, Shagg and Treeshagger were multiply accused with the zealous new refrain that “when one Shagg drinks all Shaggs drink!”
Just Stupid and The Anarchist were accused of being vain.
Visiting Hasher Saddlesore and Bondai hailing from Sydney were welcomed.
Ooh La La, RA, took the risk of bringing up the subject of Bender’s disappearance at the Christmas dinner to which he replied don’t ask – at least easing Ooh La La’s wonder at whether it was a result of his poor conversation.
Sleeping Sex was caught totally unexpectedly, much to her disbelief and dismay, even bordering on horror at being called up on three consecutive accusations. Gone were her days of dozing through the hash in her blissful incognito. In an attempt to ease her bewilderment thank you to Just Stupid for taking the trouble to translate her last accusation.
On the subject of Hash clothing, the newly-named Likes a Quicky, just recovering from her naming ceremony was briskly stripped by the unhesitating hands of Half Crazy – almost to her bra. Yes, she concedes, she must buy a hash clothing item – but so also was the brilliant idea of a hash bra born, an idea that seems to hold promise for a bright future.
Half Crazy was eventually, though exposed to the most compromising of song “Daisy, Daisy, Daisy”
Eventually we reluctantly had to bring the circle to a close – for the sake of the neighbours. But the party continued inside, late into the night with the additions of Nipple Nibbler and the very acrobatic little Adrian. Ideas for Paris Hash 800 were discussed and a late night music appreciation session followed, allowing us to discover a whole new side to Bender – other than the furry toilet seat which Shagg (who was truly delighted to be in Bender’s) had pointed out earlier.
Private message: Shagg has to contact Half Crazy, for reasons known only by them.