Your humble scribe must confess to some trepidation coming from a small-time hash in revolution torn Egypt that can barely scrape together 30 runners during the fasting month of Ramadan on a 40 degree day in August. What a wonderful example of Parisian hospitality that the Paris Hash eased my concern by fielding only six runners on a pleasant afternoon in La Defense.
Bender selected a remarkably crafty starting point, so cleverly concealed that one of the two actual French people (Ball Baring) in the group had to ask directions from the locals and the other (Half Crazy) got lost all together. Oddly, the two Yanks in the group (one a newcomer and the other her visiting husband) found it assisted only by Benders remarkably clear directions
Of course, one should not criticize the Grand Mistress, at least she made it. The Beer Master was nowhere to be found until well after the run when he called from Portugal. (What map was HE following?)
On a sunny, but mild afternoon, Bender was surprisingly drenched by the time he reached the starting point. He claimed that his shirt had been dampened by ice melting in his pack on the way to set the (not one but two) beer checks. We learned however, that he was only telling half the truth. THe other half was that he had set a trail that was approximately 765 km long with the second first beer check set up somewhere in the Dordogne. And that he kept insisting was the SHORT trail.
Gonzo was apparently unsatisfied with the trail as he set off in entirely the wrong direction at one point. Or maybe he just lost his way by insisting on being a Front-Running Bastard (Front-Walking Bastard?). He was appropriately punished at circle time.
As the intrepid band wandered back towards the circle, Bender made a last minute change and took the entire hash (all six of us) back to his hotel room. Pussy kat and Energizer took a visitor’s down down and Pussy kat then took another as she is a newcomer rather than a visitor. Energizer took another as he failed to wear hash gear, although one should note he tried to purchase Hash gear to wear but there was none in his size. I mean, really, what is up with Half Crazy? All she had to do was act as Grandmistress, Haberdasher Master and Hash Cash at the same time. You’d think she was busy or something. Ball Baring and Bender were punished for wearing gear from the dreaded rival Sans Clue Hash
Bender prepared for his five guests by laying on roughly enough provisions for an army. I am not exaggerating, if we sent them back in time to Moscow, Napolean’s army might have succeeded and the Russians would all be speaking French and enjoying substantially better cuisine. Standing up to the challenge we managed to gnaw our way through about a bagette each a kilo of ham and three different types of cheese. He even made coffee. Attention future hares: he has raised the bar pretty high. I think the Hash should expect table linens and five courses on the next run.