Souvenir of the Hash birthday party barbecue – ph3 run 782 on june 11 2011..
Photos by French Kiss:
Hash trash by Vlad the Impaler:
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Finally. The Chronicles of the Paris Hash. Late and almost truthful.
It was Paris Hash 30th birthday party and where better to celebrate than a wonderful picturesque run through Speedy’s neighbourhood set by Half Cray and Speedy. It got off to the usual chaotic start with Ball Baring & French Kiss/FL taking a one-way street in the wrong way because their GPS said so. They were double punished with down downs for the crime and for using technology on the Hash. There was an impressive turnout of runners, walkers and some people who ambled along so slowly that a tortoise beeped it’s horn to over take them on the path. The superb trail setting was enjoyed until the river crossing. Half of the runners thought they were in a triathlon or iron man event and suggested swimming the river. Excessive sports behaviour is frowned upon in Hashing so it was decided that everyone should take the ferry, conveniently waiting at the dock. After shepherding the crew on board and a couple of lame pirate jokes, we set off across the river and into the wilds of rural Paris. Everyone was awed by the sight of trees, especially the Hash View… of… yes.. an old tree. In keeping with this theme, the Hash decided to give heritage status to Anarchist for having the oldest Hash T shirt and in future some of the old runners will have heritage signs hung on them.
The trail became sinister when some runners thought that Shaggy Shagless had been attacked by wolves but it was later discovered that he had made an unprovoked attack on the ground with his shoulder and leg. He was chastised for being such a pussy about it and forced to do a down down as a result.
Speedy’s superb trail setting almost received full marks except that he missed his own beer stop. The crowd went wild demanding beer and Speedy’s cohunes on a stick. Riot police with tear gas and wild dogs subdued the masses and the rabble was finally calmed when promised a Hash birthday party at the end of the run.
Half Crazy managed to lose some of the walkers at the NON-beer stop. The runners were convinced that she had sold them to white slavers but after demands from the runners to produce them immediately, she managed to find them.
Just Seven turned up totally late on a midget bicycle that she obviously stole from a circus clown. This kind of behaviour is applauded and adds to the reputation of the Hash as something not to be trifled with.
Speaking of trifle: The Hash birthday party barbecue at the end was beautifully catered by Speedy and Muito Bonbon where further misdemeanours were tried and punished.
Other miscreants and their crimes were:
Bonka: Being too much of a leader:
Arrogant Bastard: Pouring his beer in water.
The Anarchist: Oldest hash t-shirt & having hashed for the longest time. Bravo.
The Anarchist: For being and Old Fart Hasher and having been hashing for the longest time.
Konga, Speedy Gonzalez, Just Dominique (The Anarchist’s wife): A special champagne down down together with the Paris H3.
Just Seven & Pregnant Frog: Getting lost.
Aquasex, Just Anastasia, LALO, Pussy Face: Talking about work.
Deep Throat: For having a deep throat and being called so.
The Anarchist: For being the master of Just Voyou.
Speedy & Half Crazy: Missing the second beer stop.
Just Seven: For leaving home at 11:00 am and arriving at the hash at 5:0 0pm on the aforementioned midget’s bicycle.
Fucking Fan left the circle early and is on the run but will be tracked down. Justice will be served along with beer.
And of course Vlad the Impaler, your trusty Scribe, Herodotus, Homer, Historian who took a phone call and missed the floggings, down downs and other punishments. Justice will be served.
Returnees: Among them, some not having showed up for 6 months or more: Bonka, Never Mind, Aquasex, Arrogant Bastard.
Just Audrey (Ball Baring’s wife), Pregnant Frog & Pussy Face
Guest appearances were by: Just Brian, Just Katy and Just Terri from Melbourne, Just Guy from Luxembourg, Electric Muff Chuckler from Baltimore and Sour Puss from New Zealand.
Thus ends this exciting episode of The Hash Chronicles.