When: 26 April 2014, 14h (2pm)

Where: Maisons Laffitte

Hare: Where the F*ck Are my T*ts & Nice Bit of Skirt

Beer & Bouffe : Just 7

Meeting point: RER A – Maisons Lafitte – follow flour signs

The day dawned bright and sunny and this encouraged a good number of hashers out of their winter hibernation to meet up at Balard in order to experience the delights of the old Paris train-line and many many parks (counted by Bender in search of the beerstop) in the 15th Arrondissement.

Our hare Running Commentary started the hash in the traditional way by explaining the lack of rules, lack of flour (excuses such as wind and street cleaners) and as you can see from the photos… a slight lack of interest by some of the group – you can spot the old hands by the facial expressions (is Seven taking a cheeky nap??)…


Though some old hands seem to be listening intently… well ok, it’s only Just Stupid.. to be expected…..



So the first challenge was the lack of flour at the start (damn those street cleaners!) so the more intelligent hashers took a guess based on the location, the name of the hash, the elbow pointing of the hare and a keen sense of direction to head directly for the stairs up onto the old elevated train line.. our FRB, French Kiss led the way. Though most of the regulars didn’t even recognise him as he appeared in disguise as French Kiss with beard. The jury is still out on this new look…



The run took the hashers up and down and round and round, every park that was passed the cry of ‘beerstop’ by Bender could be clearly heard, and this started only about 15minutes into the run.. someone was obviously a bit thirsty.

However before the beerstop the hashers had an interesting tour of a part of Paris most didn’t know that well, passing interesting buildings and over various bridges over the non-elevated part of the line and our cunning hare managed to plan both the runner and walker routes to cross at various locations making it more fun for everyone.. even if it was only to shout abuse at each other in passing!


The run also took us through the many aforementioned parks and past a few useful pavement furnishings, which Nice Bit of Skirt decided to make good use of to top up his tan.



To Bender’s delight we finally made it to the beerstop where once again runners and walkers converged, and all sorts of crazy things happened where walkers desperate for beer were seen running (Sleeping Sex no less!) and quite a few runners slowed to a walk when they realised Bender’s 5th call of ‘beerstop’ was before he’d even seen the BS sign and about 2 parks too early! 


After the beerstop where more beers had to be purchased to keep our thirsty runners and walkers happy, off the hash went again, with some runners getting confused thinking they were walkers, but a quick telling off by French Kiss made WTFAMT realise the error of her ways and off she dashed, leaving the planned gossip with Sleeping Sex till the beer and bouffe after the circle.

The post beerstop run was all a bit confusing with all the runners following the route in reverse along that island in the middle of the Seine that leads to the Statue of Liberty that this hasher can never remember the name of…. however our hare was with us and gave us the choice of following the short or long route back. French Kiss was on form as chief FRB and without consulting the group gave a manly yell and headed in the direction of the long route, what could the pack do but follow!? or lose all self respect… so we followed!

Finally the hash reached the final park, Andre Citroen and the On-In. where the theme of crazy and mixed up continued as having lost Shaggy, Bender and potentially a couple of others, the walkers and runners decided that they’d dive into the food and beer while waiting for the lost runners. Again necessitating another beer run to the shops to keep everyone well hydrated… what can we say, it was a hot day!

So the down-downs, of which the list is long and long-winded…

Our Hare – Running Commentary for a run with so many checkpoints we lost count

Virgins – Just Maria, Just Lindsey and Just Catherine who all had spurious connections to regular Paris hashers 

Visitors – now this was just damn confusing because not only was Paris French Kiss in disguise but it turned out we had a Mexican French Kiss in our midsts! So of course both French and Mexican French Kisses had to drink! And we had a random and very pleasant visit from Ma Bouche from our sister/brother hash Sans Clue.

Retournees – WTFAMT, Shaggy, Nice Bit of Skirt, French Kiss the French version, Bender, Just Vladimir

Technology on Trail – The Anarchist and Just Maria for photo taking (see above delightful photos) and WTFAMT for trying to take the elevator to the elevated railway rather than taking the stairs.

Eating in the circle – Just Vladimir who couldn’t down his pint due to the huge chunk of bread and cheese he was eating….

Corrections, Long trail and confusing arrows at that island that remains nameless – Our Hare Running Commentary

Leaving Paris – Nice Bit of Skirt who will be sadly missed by all.. sob sob

Runners who walked and walkers who ran – Sleeping Sex, French Kiss, Saving Ryan’s Privates, WTFAMT and maybe one or two more that i currently can’t remember

Wedding celebrations – Saving Ryan’s Privates and Just Lindsey

FRB’s – Saving Ryan’s Privates and both French and Mexican French Kisses.. however the bearded French one was on a beer run at the shops so sadly missed out on this down-down

New shoes – WTFAMT for wearing not only new but barefoot weird shoes about which she constantly complained


ANNOUNCEMENTS - WE NEED HARES!!!!!! Please contact Sleeping Sex, The Anarchist or WTFAMT


petite-ceinture-olivier-de-serresWhen: 12 April 2014, 14h (2pm)

Where: Paris – Petite Ceinture

Hare: Running Commentary & Just Antoine

Beer : The Anarchist

Bouffe : Volunteer needed  at parish3.gm@gmail.com

Meeting point: Metro Balard – line 8 – follow flour signs

indexAs you know, Chateau de Vincennes is one of our favourite running spot to organise a live run , especially when you are jet lagged and need to eliminate the excess of Rhum Planteur for your GM and” Sex on the beach” cocktails for Sex tourist and Naughty Ways . We were joined by a few experienced hashers Sleeping Sex and Running commentary . Surprisingly 4 virgins turned out and 2 long time returnees .

So that was enough to improvise the run of the day .

The Anarchist and Sex Tourist volunteered to be the live hares and explained the rules to the new comers , trying not to disturb the “joueurs de petanque” , curious whether  we would squat one of their favourite spot .

So the hares moved  ten minutes ahead of the pack , with 7 kg of flour,  so I will not comment what happened in the pack as I was laying the trail with my co hare .

We rapidly reached the Chateau and crossed it to admire the dungeon and after a couple of checkbacks and check points to slow down the hunting pack, we entered the Bois de Vincennes. Then we headed to the romantic lake of St Mande , not forgetting a traditional long check back round the lake .

photo 1Then we decided to regroup the following pack at a noticeable hash view ( by the smell … ) being the Vespasiennes of other “joueurs de petanque” . Evidence on the group picture that the pack was apparently not disturbed by the smell !

We , the hares , did not hear any sound from the pack , so we thought that the group preferred to visit the Chateau. But this was not the case and they were frenetically checking all the trails , trying to catch us .

photo 2So they decided to take pictures , at least to have a souvenir of this hot day and enjoyed the water stop , as no beer stop was possible with this live run.

You will notice that Sleeping Sex is missing , as afraid of getting lost in the woods, preferred the option of a little nap , at the risk of tempting sex predators, but anyway she was sleeping, so not feeling anything….

photo 3We made our way across the skin-tight Speedos male area , watching our back side , and made our way back to the Parc floral , 30 minutes ahead of the Front running bastards .

Naughty Ways , our RA of the day started the ceremony by congratulating the two hares Sex Tourist and  The Anarchist for this well improvised run and for not having to report any casualties .

20140329_162216Then she introduced the 4 virgins :  Antoine, François and Arthur and Nicky .We all hope you will be coming soon .

Deborah was welcomed after a 6 month break and Just Mat.

The 3 male virgins were given a down down as promising FRBs, so as Just Nicky and Just Mat for being DFls.

20140329_162435Sleeping sex was punished for having sex on the run without noticing .

And it was high time for the Hash hymn and for the beer and bouffe provided by the GM.

20140329_162444So as you see if you feel lazy about reco run, laying trail in the morning, you can always improvise a live run with a co hare and get as much as fun .

On On The Anarchist


PS : we need hares for April an May so volunteer to Sleeping Sex at sleepingsex@hotmail.com

When: 29 March 2014, 14h (2pm)

Where: Bois de Vincennes

Hare: Live Hare

Beer : The Anarchist

Bouffe : Volunteer needed

Meeting point: the square close to 7 avenue de Nogent -94300 Vincennes (same place as 800th run)
How to get there: Metro Chateau de Vincennes – line 1- Exit 6


Ps : we need hares for April and May  , please let us know to Sleeping sex sleepingsex@hotmail.com or On sec WFMT

Five intrepid hashers braved the pollution alert and fluctuating temperatures (somewhat offset by the lure of free public transport) to meet at the Chatillon/Montrouge Metro for Paris hash #855 (which turned out to be the distance – in hundredths of a mile – of the day’s run). Starting from the beginning of the under-construction tram (to be the only one in Paris with a “single rail” to guide rubber-tired vehicles), the trail followed various bicycle and walking trails that parallel the train lines going south.  Along the way (foreshadowing things to come), visiting hasher, I Feel Tower, became separated from the group, which had to send out scouts to find him.

Somewhat before the outskirts of Orleans, the trail crossed the train lines to find the first Hash View, at the top of what must have been some sort of ancient burial mound. the FRBs rejected the the paved, spiral path leading to the ceremonial staircase and headed straight up an eroded goat path. The climbers were rewarded with a view of several construction cranes, the Tour de Montparnasse, and the very top of the (other) Eiffel Tower.  the normally ubiquitous Sacre Coeur was hidden in the smog.

Descending from the mount, the trail took us to the Hash Flash at a communal vineyard (no wine, or even grapes, to be seen), on the way to the beer stop at Parc Paysager Francois Mitterand in Bagneux.  The hashers spent their beer-drinking time trying to decipher the remains of a statue of a woman which had lost an arm and the head of her baby.

Mystery unsolved, the hashers left the park and ran past the Mairie (almost literally crashing a wedding), to another small park, where I Feel Tower (and guest RA I Like Your Boobs) again got separated from the group.  After several minutes of fruitless searching, and assuming the wayward hashers would find their way back (or to the nearest pub), the three remaining runners completed the circuitous route to the on in.

Not finding the missing persons at the start, we did the only thing possible, and broke out the beer. Eventually, IFT and ILYB showed up and explained that they took a short cut from said park and found the trail on in.  The cut being quite short indeed, they spent their time in a nearby pub.

Starting the circle, acting RA ILYB, called the hare into the circle, where he was appropriately treated to a down down.  After revealing that his inspiration for the trail was his route from home to work (with “a few” extra loops), Egg Spurt was again rewarded for frequently “forgetting” which way the trail went. Visitor I Feel Tower was duly recognized, then was joined in the Circle by Saving Ryan’s Privates as intercontinental travelers who pulled all nighters to get to the hash.

The RA then cited the FRB (NB: first to arrive at the finish), IFT and the DFL (last to arrive) Running Commentary.  This was immediately followed by calling out IFT and ILYB for being short cutting bastards, and then as “returnees” (since they had been absent so long).  Finally, RC was cited for his “gangster” look: all in black with one pant leg raised. The circle then ended with a spirited, but brief, rendition of the hash hymn, before certain hashers rushed off to watch the end of France Ireland in the six Nations.

VolunteerHareHi Folks

We need a hare for Run 856 on Sat March 29th.

Please contact Mis Man :

Sleeping sex at sleepingsex@hotmail.com

or Gm at parish3.gm@gmail.com

If no one volunteer we’ll meet at Metro Chateau de Vincennes for a live Run or a gentle walk


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